Ok, Dudes. I HATE bugs. Like really legit have a phobia. I trap them under cups and make the man get them and make them dead. If the man is not around, I maaaaay resort to chemicals, hairspray or fire. Or all of the above. Almost had to with this little gem:
I never kill bugs in the outside or garden. No matter how gross, so simmer down soldiers. But come in my house, my territory, and its on little dudes, IT’S ON! Anywho my latest bugaboo is this crowd of nasty Springtails on some of my windowsills. Not in the bathroom or the sink where these moisture-loving teensy tiny buggers would normally hang out. They are coming in on my crank windows and under the doors (I think). According to Orkin they live outside in mulchy spots and eat decaying leaves. And, according to pretty much all of the people in the universe these are no big deal:
“Vacuum them up” …
“When it rains more they will go back outside” …
“They don’t damage anything” …”
You overreact” …
I disagree because, well, EW! I am not having it, they DO damage something. They damage my ability to be ZEN man! So, I am in the midst of executing a full blown attack, consisting of 5 missions. OPERATION: Springtail Shutdown is a-go, people!
Phase 1: Diatomaceous Earth was deployed on all of the sills. They used their trap-detecting pest radar to literally walk around the granules. Phase 1 was a complete failure. This is the first time the DE did not come through for me.
This is the first time old faithful DE could not protect the territory.
Phase 2: All radiator covers were removed heating elements were vacuumed. Pipes were also checked for leaks all over the house. Sills were cleaned and disinfected to ensure death of everything. Initially an effective mission, but the enemy returned in droves in only two days time.
Enemy scout tries to hide unnoticed, high above the sill.
Phase 3: All shrubbery was removed and trimmed and the lawn was cut waaaaaaay down around the house. A hose was called into action to power-wash the siding and nuke all bits of stuck-on organic materials from the fall that was leftover on on the back yard patio AstroTurf. The enemy took a hit that time. They fell way back. Only small band of revolutionary’s dared to return to the area. Most of the remaining enemy troops were found dead.
A fallen enemy soldier.
Phase 4: The little bastard insurgents are rallying back in alarming numbers of 1-2 per sill. That’s just way too many. During the last few neutral territory sweeps on the exterior of the house, they were seen traveling in bands! Next weekend I will bring out the big gun and launch a series of caulk based missiles to the interior and exterior of the house.
The “Big Gun” is ready and waiting.
A battery of three types of assault missiles will be deployed next mission.
Phase 5: The damage to enemy troops will be assessed and then I will replace all of the weather stripping on the windows in hopes of sealing out the enemy FOREVER.
Wish me luck and ROGER THAT, nay-sayers, ROGER THAT!!! Please let me know if you found a way to combat these gross little nasties that is not outlined in my attack plan.